:(

WARNING: If you are going to complain about depressing blogs. Do not read this one. I will write cheery ones later, I promise
Ok well I have been feeling a bit shit at the minute with everything going on but Monday must have been the worst experience of my life
I went to my nan and Grandads. This was the first time I had seen my Grandad since his dementia had become bad. I did not recognise him, he came down the stairs looking so confused, a ghostly complexion, his face was just a skeleton. His hands were shaking and he couldnt even speak properly. I couldnt believe it, I was looking at a man. a man that couldnt smile. A man that had no sparkle in his eyes. He was not my grandad. To top it off he didnt really know how I was and couldnt stay awake. Dementia is the biggest bitch. EVER.
I cant deal with this at the moment, I go to sleep and I have nightmares about it, I wake up and I am living the nightmare.
I even burst into tears when I see people with their grandads.
All that is left to say is I love you grandad and always will.You mean everything to me and I think about you always. If there was anything I could do to take this terrible illness away, believe me I would do it quicker thank you can imagine.
If only tears could make everything go away...
Iloveyou

Life

So today was rather boring. At least I got lots of Bio and Chem revision out of the way. SERIOUSLY who said college was good ?
Well I have been thinking once again today.
Universities have been the main thing O_o
London is where I wish to go. However, going to my crappy college I doubt I will get the grades.
Also, I really wish some people would grow up. There is no need to be spiteful and bitchy especially when you don't even know the FULL story.
Just Live your life!
I love that quote. Some poeple should take advice from it. Especially you. ARSEHOLE. You know who you are.
Right I have vented :D
Tomorrow will be an interesting blog. I promise.
Ciao for now

The past year

So it has been a year since I left school
and alot has happened really. I have discovered how much I reallly did not like school and also that college is teh worst experience EVER!
Apart from frees and walks home :)
I have however started to realise that a few people arent what they pretend to be.
This should upset me but instead it makes me realise why I have not been quite so happy.I feel like a hige weight has been lifted off my shoulders because I have finally found out what has been holding me back and stopping me from being myself.
All I will say is I know everything that has been going on and can see through the fakeness. Only one more left of it now though.
That feels good :D
Anyways it is now way past my bed time and I have a thrilling day of revision tomorrow so Im off to bed
Ilovemyfriends
Night bloggers

Summer..

Ok, So this is my first blog so instead of rambling about my life I am going to make a list. About summer and the things I would like to do :)

• Watch Wicked Avenue Q and Legally blonde again :D
• Go Blackpool
  
• Sort out my hair
  
• Watch EVERY episode of Friends again because I can
  
• Diet
• Buy new clothes
• Be more like me
  
• More time with the best friends
• Go to gigs
  
• LOTS of London times <3
  

Yeah that is pretty much it :)
P.S. Chris Drew needs to tour the uk
Peace out (: